Taking Up Residence
Hello Friends,
Earlier this month I spent a few days at the beautiful Millay Colony for the Arts, getting back the spark with my novel. It was the first residency I've ever done. In part because I've been rejected many times over the years (and from this particular one at least twice before), but mostly because when you are a parent artist, it's insanely difficult to hit pause on your home life and travel elsewhere to work. Most residencies are for a minimum of 2 weeks. Luckily, Millay does a virtual residency, which allows a parent to spend at least 5 full days at the colony and use a stipend to cover the costs of going away (childcare, dogwalking, perhaps an ice cream sundae party as apology upon return?). It's a dream.
I got so much work done. Being able to work at any hour knowing that I would not have to conserve my energy to tend to others in the next few days---cooking, cleaning, picking up from school, breaking up arguments, kindly giving some version of "I don't know, honey" replies to 10 questions in a row I could not possibly know the answer to---is a real freedom, as is the quiet and company of others hard at work on their own projects. I was with a group that's in residence for the month of May. They were so lovely and welcoming. Talking to them about process and 80s movies and their disciplines and everything in between was invigorating, and I'm grateful to have had their company.
But I also immediately felt the strangeness of how many others can do this with relative ease. This is not to imply that leaving partners or pets or day jobs behind is without sacrifice or its own difficulties, but for parents it's a different and more expensive cost---logistically, emotionally, financially---to step away from the daily responsibilities of parenting. So expensive it's often prohibitive. I'm so grateful for Millay for providing this time and space specifically for parents and I wish that other colonies would consider shorter lengths of stays (most require at least 2 weeks, many more are 4). In a dream world, I imagine being granted 2 weeks over the course of a year, one without kids, but with fellow parent artists, and the other with my kids, with childcare provided. If you know someone who has property/funding/inclination to do this, hit me up. I want to see more art from parents. Access needs to expand. If it's this hard for me, a person who has a lot of support from family and good resources, it's a hundred times more difficult for so many other parenting artists.
When I said I was headed off to do this on Twitter, I got a lot of replies from parents who did not know this opportunity existed so I want to use this space to make a list of places like Millay that offer opportunities more suited to artists with families. Please send me any ones I haven't included and I'll put them in the next letter, and please pass this list along to those who might need it. Many of these are funded by Sustainable Arts, a grantmaking organization that also funds individual artists who are also parents. Check the link for more opportunities.
-Millay's Virtual Residency-Space on Ryder Farm runs two Family Residency weeks during summer that include childcare
-The Mineral School (WA) hosts a parent-only week
-AIR at Headlands Center for the Arts (CA) provides a family house. I think you still have to occupy your kids though.
-Various National Parks offer artist-in-residence programs, and many are family-friendly, but again, you have to provide your own childcare. Search by park. Here's the Acadia one.
In the past I also have created my own short retreats with other parenting writers, stealing away to one person's house or a rental. It's complicated, and it's never free, and every time it happens I get so stressed about logistics I consider canceling it all. But it happens every now and then, and it's always so good for my work. I wish I had money to throw at someone else to make this happen for them. It's a gift to have that room of one's own.
Nice Things About Back Talk
UK Paperback Launch is this Thursday, May 17th, with Black Friars. Yay!
A ways off till the book makes it to readers, but I've also sold Korean rights, marking my first translation. I can't wait to see (and not understand at all) my book in Korean!
Using My Words
I wrote about Marguerite Duras's Practicalities for LitHub in support of the Freya Project event I'm doing later this week. More info down below in events listings. I didn't make the connections between the parent residency and Mother's Day (more about my thoughts on that holiday here) and Duras's book till I started writing this letter, but it's all connected.
Reading, Thinking, Feeling
(Writing parent) Victor LaValle's The Changeling. It's dark and spooky and will keep you up at night turning pages and being totally disturbed. But I also love how it's set in Washington Heights, and by someone who really knows the neighborhood. Reading books about New York by New Yorkers is one of my favorite things. I stayed up to finish this book the other night and then had some mundane kind of dream where I was just hanging out with the characters. Weird, wonderful. And really not for anyone in the early stages of parenting.
The Changeling is based in part on Maurice Sendak's Outside Over There, which is one of my favorite children's books and I apologize if I gave it to you as a baby gift. It's really one of those children's books for adults, though Sendak argues otherwise in this interview he did with Terry Gross a number of years ago. Childhood doesn't afford protection, after all. Still, next time I'll get you In the Night Kitchen.
Finally watched this amazing interview with Simone de Beauvoir my friend (and parenting artist) Brian Herrick sent me a while back. We often forget how recent the discussion of feminism is. How far we have to go. My favorite parts are when the interviewer is so uncomfortable he has to play with his hands like a shamed child.
While at Millay, I used these smaller and thinner Japanese index cards to outline my novel. I love them. And Jet Pens. Perhaps I'll do a pen-focused edition of the letter one day, and lose half my subscribers.
Where to Find Me
Last two readings of spring!
Brooklyn: This Thursday, May 17th, 7pm, I'll be reading a new essay about a time I wouldn't take no for an answer (ha, imagine that. ME?) at Elsa Bar, alongside Naomi Jackson, Aditi Juneja, Ariel Lewiton, and Kio Stark for The Freya Project in support of Nile Sisters, an organization that provides training and support to refugee and immigrant women and their families. If you can't make it, you can still donate to the cause by purchasing a ticket ($20) here.
Manhattan: I'll be reading fiction at the season close of Sunday Salon alongside Simeon Marselis, Man Martin and Sweta Srivastava Vikram. Sunday, May 20th, 7pm, Von Bar. Free.
That's all for now.
Talk soon,
Danielle